Reasons why I should never be allowed to look after children...
I got up to my cousins house at about six. Adam was on the computer and Grace was watching TV. That's what I love about kids these days; whack them in front of some electronic appliance, and they're amused for hours. Which leaves valuable book-reading time for me.
Eventually Adam got bored of the computer though, and dragged me up to his room to shoot Mexicans on his xBox.
"Take that, you Communist fucker!" He yelled as he shot one of them through the sights of a sniper rifle. I couldn't be arsed telling him not to swear - nor correcting that Mexicans were not, in fact, communists. I was too cool a babysitter for that...
Then Adam decided we should go watch 'Human Weapon'. Frankly, I've no idea what Grace was doing this whole time. I probably should've, since she's legally blind and has the mental age of a six year old...
But anyway, we were watching this show called 'Human Weapon'. It's about these two American guys who go around the world, learning different types of martial arts. They went to Russia, and basically everywhere they went they said, "Y'know, twenty years ago, we wouldn't be allowed here..." NO FUCKING SHIT. I mean, fine, it's cool to say that once - maybe even twice, just to make sure no one missed it - I MEAN, C'MON, SEVEN TIMES? SEVEN?!?!
Suddenly Adam says, "Damn Commies." Now, I have a fairly high tolerance level for people getting political stuff wrong, but I quite like Russians, and I'm not against the idea of Communism either. So the time had come to say something...
"Adam, the Russians aren't actually Communists anymore..."
"Really? Why not?"
And so me and my thirteen year old cousin (who aspires to be both footballer and Prime Minister when he grows up) got into a deep discussion about politics. It was strange. It was weird...
And then Grace, the ten year old, came into the room and asked to play a game. So I taught the kids how to play poker and blackjack. You can never learn to gamble too early. I am obviously the best babysitter ever, huh?
I'm sure other stuff happened too, except I can't remember and I'm too lazy to get my notebook out of my bag. But trust me, it was excellent.
Adam: Do you write down everything funny you say in that notebook?
Phht. Hell yes.
Eventually Adam got bored of the computer though, and dragged me up to his room to shoot Mexicans on his xBox.
"Take that, you Communist fucker!" He yelled as he shot one of them through the sights of a sniper rifle. I couldn't be arsed telling him not to swear - nor correcting that Mexicans were not, in fact, communists. I was too cool a babysitter for that...
Then Adam decided we should go watch 'Human Weapon'. Frankly, I've no idea what Grace was doing this whole time. I probably should've, since she's legally blind and has the mental age of a six year old...
But anyway, we were watching this show called 'Human Weapon'. It's about these two American guys who go around the world, learning different types of martial arts. They went to Russia, and basically everywhere they went they said, "Y'know, twenty years ago, we wouldn't be allowed here..." NO FUCKING SHIT. I mean, fine, it's cool to say that once - maybe even twice, just to make sure no one missed it - I MEAN, C'MON, SEVEN TIMES? SEVEN?!?!
Suddenly Adam says, "Damn Commies." Now, I have a fairly high tolerance level for people getting political stuff wrong, but I quite like Russians, and I'm not against the idea of Communism either. So the time had come to say something...
"Adam, the Russians aren't actually Communists anymore..."
"Really? Why not?"
And so me and my thirteen year old cousin (who aspires to be both footballer and Prime Minister when he grows up) got into a deep discussion about politics. It was strange. It was weird...
And then Grace, the ten year old, came into the room and asked to play a game. So I taught the kids how to play poker and blackjack. You can never learn to gamble too early. I am obviously the best babysitter ever, huh?
I'm sure other stuff happened too, except I can't remember and I'm too lazy to get my notebook out of my bag. But trust me, it was excellent.
Adam: Do you write down everything funny you say in that notebook?
Phht. Hell yes.