Just because, well, it's all true...
So, just how many Canberra district school students does it take to
change a light bulb?
Canberra Girls Grammar –
One. she holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Narrabundah College –
Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.
Lyneham High –
None. They're all too drunk to notice.
Daramalan College –
None. They're all to busy applying make-up.
Merici College –
One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.
Bruce CIT –
Five. One to change the globe and four to discuss its benefits to future vocational education.
Lake Ginninderra College –
Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.
ANU -
Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.
Canberra School of Music –
Forty Three. One to change the globe and 42 piece orchestra to accompany him.
Canberra Boys Grammar –
None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark.
Queanbeyan High – Five. One to change it, and four to visit Go Lo for new booner attire to wear for the occasion.
Alfred Deakin –
None. None of them can see through their long hair.
St Frances Xavier – Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times.
Belconnen High-
Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.
St Clares College –
None. It's too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such a dangerous task.
St Edmunds College –
Five. One to install it, and four to tally the Number of times he says F*** or talks about rugby while he's doing it.
Karabar High –
Five. One to change the bulb and four to complain that a school of their stature was ever built in Queanbeyan.
Cooma High School –
None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.
Dickson College –
Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the CIT students and six Italians and six Asians to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime.
Marist College –
Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
Goulburn High –
None. Everyone is either suspended or wagging (including the teachers).
Canberra College -
None. Get Kev the Janitor to do it.
Lake Tuggeranong College –
Thirty-One. One to change the blub and thirty to paint interpretive murals about it all over Civic.
Stromlo High –
None, they dont bother, it's just going to get stolen or broken anyway.
Yass High School –
None. That hole looks better in the dark
Canberra Girls Grammar –
One. she holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Narrabundah College –
Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.
Lyneham High –
None. They're all too drunk to notice.
Daramalan College –
None. They're all to busy applying make-up.
Merici College –
One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.
Bruce CIT –
Five. One to change the globe and four to discuss its benefits to future vocational education.
Lake Ginninderra College –
Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.
ANU -
Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.
Canberra School of Music –
Forty Three. One to change the globe and 42 piece orchestra to accompany him.
Canberra Boys Grammar –
None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark.
Queanbeyan High – Five. One to change it, and four to visit Go Lo for new booner attire to wear for the occasion.
Alfred Deakin –
None. None of them can see through their long hair.
St Frances Xavier – Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times.
Belconnen High-
Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.
St Clares College –
None. It's too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such a dangerous task.
St Edmunds College –
Five. One to install it, and four to tally the Number of times he says F*** or talks about rugby while he's doing it.
Karabar High –
Five. One to change the bulb and four to complain that a school of their stature was ever built in Queanbeyan.
Cooma High School –
None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.
Dickson College –
Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the CIT students and six Italians and six Asians to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime.
Marist College –
Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
Goulburn High –
None. Everyone is either suspended or wagging (including the teachers).
Canberra College -
None. Get Kev the Janitor to do it.
Lake Tuggeranong College –
Thirty-One. One to change the blub and thirty to paint interpretive murals about it all over Civic.
Stromlo High –
None, they dont bother, it's just going to get stolen or broken anyway.
Yass High School –
None. That hole looks better in the dark